MILO: RIP Eminem, The Last Cultural Champion Of The Straight White Male

Eminem cuts a tragic figure these days, babbling on about Trump instead of spitting the sort of tongue-defying bars for which he became famous. The latest album, whose name I can’t even remember, is getting panned by critics. It’s a mess, they say. 

That’s what happens when tired artists stop producing art for its own sake and focus on expressing their views about the current occupant of the Oval Office. Long may it continue! Hollywood and the entire recording industry deserve to burn. But in Eminem’s case, Trump-hating is an especially perilous game to play, because so many of his supporters are working-class whites who dig Daddy. 

People who are supposed to know more about this sort of thing acknowledge there’s a Trump-supporting “sector” of Eminem’s fan base. But I think they’re underestimating it. I wouldn’t be surprised if Mathers fans skew heavily conservative, perhaps even more so in this shabby late period he’s enjoying. (We crackers lag behind on culture; I suspect the black fans are long gone.) It’s just a hunch, but I reckon Eminem’s fan base skews majority-Republican — and Trump Republican, at that. 

Eminem was at his best when playing to angry and disaffected young, predominantly white, men. For a time he was a cultural champion of the much maligned straight white male. Perhaps he sees what’s he’s doing now as penance for daring to cater to one of the most underrepresented demographics in America today. Either way, he’s lost his primary appeal: until the mid-2000s, he was sinister and terrifying, an uncompromising expression of the male id.

Eminem was the quintessential angry, nerdy white kid who just wanted the cool (=black) kids to like him. We can all relate; I wanted black guys to like me so much, I started letting them fuck me! And then I married one. You know, just to stay hip. 

But if you’re a working-class guy from Michigan who’s not into bling and gang crime and Bape-wrapped Lambos and bragging about weed and rape — in which case, why are you reading this column? — Eminem’s was the rap you could play in your parents’ earshot without them raising too much of an eyebrow. That is to say: if you liked rap music but the aggressive blackness of the rest of the industry put you off, Eminem was a good compromise. Until he committed suicide by social justice. 

As I say, it’s just a hunch. But watch and see. What little remained of Eminem’s fan base, all whites and mostly fans of the President, just got told to go to Hell. Even those who aren’t Republicans or libertarians probably still fall into the “sick of actors and singers politicizing everything” bucket. So we can look forward to future album charts merrily untroubled by the washed-up dad rapper. 

The best thing about Eminem’s completely unnecessary self-immolation? Daddy didn’t even notice. Not a whisper from Trump, whose command of the zeitgeist is second to none. We don’t need to ask if that stung — Eminem couldn’t help but rage publicly about the lack of acknowledgment from a President who seems to tweet about every imagined sleight and grievance.

Trump’s media genius is unparalleled: he knows exactly when to do nothing for maximum effect. Eminem looks pathetic, thrashing around desperately for the big guy’s attention — right where the Donald wants him. I mean, for Heaven’s sake, the only song Eminem is charting with has a ginger on it. Em and Elton John was cool; Em and Ed Sheeran is just gay and desperate. 

Can you imagine 2001’s Eminem being in the same room as Ed Sheeran and not beating the shit out of him? At a bare minimum he would have had D12 jump the annoying twat. 

If all that wasn’t enough to give you a schadenboner, here’s a final, even more delicious prospect to savor: when Eminem realizes he has nothing to lose, we’re never going to hear the end of his sophomoric political opinions! The rapping will get even worse and the social commentary even more retarded and angry. I reckon he’s got a decade of award show comedy gold in him as he panders to his rich black friends, issuing increasingly deranged anti-white rants.

Don’t tell me you aren’t looking forward to it!

MILO is a New York Times bestselling author and an award-winning journalist. 

Milo Yiannopoulos is an award-winning investigative reporter and the New York Times-bestselling author of DANGEROUS.

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